It is amazing when you think about it. There are periods in life where we count the days in an effort to speed things up, then there are periods when we count to slow things down… actually neither method has ever worked but mentally we all seem to do this.
When I am working and away from home I count the days in hopes they will be over soon. I guess I really like the income and really hate the condition it puts me in to make it. I like what this can do for my family and how it will effect me later but I hate having to be here with no chance of short trips home… (weekends, nights, etc)… we each settle for what ever it takes to make ends meet I guess?
When I am home I try not to count the days but enjoy every hour of what I have there. This has become a quest for me, more since getting into the new house. The privacy of the back of the house, the pleasure of the back deck, the shop that I have wanted for 25 years and now can’t find enough time to use, the absolute closeness of the “back-door” fishing pond I dreamed of. All this is yet a fantastic and calming retreat to make up for the days of isolation and massive amount of focused hours in work or work related activity.
When I was younger the amount of work hours was bare-able as I was going to get home that day or the next and would be in my own environment for awhile before I had to take off and I had chance to associate with friends – not focused on work. Mind you I had periods of that where work was 80 or more percent of my time but the small respite every so often made it worth while (to me). I fear that during some of those work times I neglected my family a bit too much. I know I should have been more involved in the kids growing up and I tried but the work always seemed to come between doing more.
Now I have two distinct environments that combat each other. One, to make the income to enjoy the other. Making the income requires near total removal from the things I most want to do and family connections. But, when I am home I generally am wore down to a point that I can not totally focus on all those fun things I dream of when working? Of course as with all things there are numerous other needs that deplete our ability to truly focus on those enjoyment things you planned but I think it will always be that way. We just hope the enjoyment items increase while the required items decrease before it is too late.
So, this is day 12 of my 30 days away.
Explanation of the count – I work 28 days away – it counts 29 since I can’t leave until the day after hitting 28. I also have to leave home one day early in order to get to work on time so that makes 30 – (but I don’t really leave until the morning of that day but to me it is a day I can’t say I had any thing at home as I am focused on travel back… So I will have 26 days to enjoy when I get home before the ritual starts over. Unless I miss some connection in travel and I loose one more day to