I wrote this in preparation for my “extra-long” day trip home. Here is a brief outline of what happens on this day.
I get up (remember this is in a time zone 6 hours in front of Central Time in the US) at 3:30AM
I do this to catch a bus to the airport at 4:00AM.
We pass through the first of a series of “security ” checks. These are questionable checks but they do them anyway. I think mostly they want to make sure your not brining in or taking anything out that you have not paid tax on. The first check is the x-ray machine at the entrance to the airport, bags are run through and you have to step through the metal detector.
Now we, as there are several of us usually, head to the check in counter but first – all luggage must be checked again, this time against the “declaration” sheet that you had to fill out when you came in the country – you must take out all that you declared coming in with, or pay more tax – to the tune of more than the time was worth. after you get checked out and your bag is generally ransacked you can move back to another line to actually move up to get our boarding pass.
We move to the check-in counter to get a boarding pass, check any luggage, ensure we do not have a laptop battery – in the laptop, etc.
After they check you name on the “manifest” list you get your boarding pass, the “exit card” etc. We take that card and go to a setting area outside the “international” departure lounge. Fill in the exit card with all pertinent data from our passport and work visa, etc… once they open that check in line you get in that line , again, to have all your paperwork checked , again.
Here they check the exit card with the passport, and visa and make sure all is valid and that you got your boarding pass from the boarding clerk. After they fill in the back of the “exit card” they stamp all three, passport, boarding pass and card. then you can move to the next x-ray machine and metal detector.
Put your carry-on bags on the belt, walk through the metal detector and give them the declaration paper (copy from when you came in) and they double check to make sure you don’t have a laptop that has the battery in it, if so they take the battery and maybe you will get it back on the plane.
If you have passed this check you then get to go into one of the “Two” exit lounges for international flights… and wait for your flight to be ready. We have to be here 2 hours early to make sure everyone gets through the checks. When they are ready a customs security and a state police will be at the door along with the ticket agent. the ticket agent takes the first of two stubs, the police will check to make sure the remaining ticket has a stamp that matches the stamp in your passport, better not swap pages or you will hold up the line and garner the rath of all while he finds the matching stamps. from there you walk out to a bus.
There are no seats on the bus, only hand holds and if you get shoved to the back you will be last off… you wait for all to get on the bus and the ticket agent, the security people etc. to get on as well. the bus lurches and chugs and squawks out along the tarmac to the waiting plane. ONce there you wait for all the security to come from ??? somewhere else to do one more check.
As you exit that bus the security or ? takes your second stub from your boarding pass and if you had checked baggage you have to go pick it up off the ground and put it on a cart to be loaded in the plane. you then go to another spot so your bags and be ransacked one more time and make sure you didn’t put something in there that we have no clue where it could have come from but they think it could be there… once you secure you carry on, you then go to a ‘hand-pat-down” to ensure you don’t have something hidden on your person, again I have no clue what it could have been as I have been checked 4 times already. Then you can get on the plane.
Once on the plane it is generally a normal flight, they do serve food, if you can stomach to eat it or dare to eat it, no radio no music, no video so you are only your own to Nap… which is possible on this short 3 hour flight as there are very few people – usually less than 50 on a plane for 150…
When i hit the Paris airport we get off through a normal gangway, come out and have our passport checked to get out to our checked luggage or out of the secured area, then it is a rush from there to the other side of the airport to get in line to get a boarding pass for the flight to US.
Here they always look at the ticket, and are quizzed why it is from Paris to us and back? asking questions like where in france I live, what I do, etc… then you move from the question crew to the boarding pass desk, get the pass, and head to – you guessed – another security check line. sometimes this one had a hundred people in it you weave and weave and then – get your passport checked and stamped, again and then you have to empty every thing out , again, so you can put your checked bag, shoes, belt, etc. on the x-ray bet and walk through the metal detector… about 1/3 of the time the little metal in my ankle sets it off and I have to get a “magic wand” check and a pat down.
Now you gather your stuff and hope you got it all, put it all back on or in the bag and head to the boarding gate. in Paris these are crowed, hot, smelly, wonderful place to be. wait, wait, wait then they call for first and then by boarding level but usually it is a rush and there is no privileged or “frequent flyer” selection other than be first in line. This time you get on a plane that is usually full to the brim and so cramped you can’t move for a really nice 9 hour flight with all those nice people .
Of course they serve that world famous chef prepared meals, chicken or beef? and come by about every hour to ensure you don’t fall asleep and if you do they bang you with a cart, if you choose isle seating, this to ensure your enjoying the flight. They show movies that you can’t see on the screen way up there and behind all those heads, and usually the audio on one seat or the other does not work properly.
Some how you get through all this (remember his is usually over 9 hours of constant hum, whine, and if small kids, crying. When we land in the US we usually have to wait for someone to move so we can get to our gate and depending on which airport you arrive at the “trek” to the immigration hall is long. You rush, you run, you jog in hopes to get in to the Passport control line as quickly as possible because the last to be there on your flight will be waiting a long time for their turn to explain where you came from, what you do there, etc. but you do get through unless some idiot got in front of you that was to be in the “VISITOR” lines or can’t find all their paperwork, or something.. There are always some that seem to be totally ignorant of where they are and what they are to do next , even with all the signs.
Leave this, grab the checked bag if any and head to customs for anything to declare – then out and recheck your checked bag and off to the next terminal to catch the next connecting flight. This, in some cases causes a similar situation that you have to go out of the secure area and then check back into the secure area and go through the -“take all your stuff out, empty pockets, belt off, shoes off, put them all in the x-ray machine and walk through the metal detector or new full body scan, grab all your stuff again and try to make sure you have it all and start putting on shoes, belt, etc. Remember by now I have been up for over 24 hours so my memory is dysfunctional and I am just lucky to usually grab all the right stuff, mine, and get it back in place. From here you start looking at the monitors to see if you outbound flight has changed, usually late in the day the gates start changing and you may be in the opposite end of the place from where you need to be…
Move to the final gate and try not to fall asleep or you will miss the flight… get on that flight and put in another 2 hours or so getting to your final destination.
There are a series of fascinating delays I can describe about these flights like being on a commuter (think small) plane for over 6 hours (for a less than 2 hour flight) flying from Atlanta, circle over Muscogee, fly back to Little Rock and refuel then back out and circle then get into OKC. Or the time I got on the plane in Paris and we didn’t move more than 100 ft for over 4 hours (something about they didn’t load the fuel properly, the pumps they had would equalize the tanks, the pump they brought out would unload-only load and they kept trying to get it just right by moving back and forth, etc but no one can get off. Or setting on the plan in London that was a substitute plane and was already one hour late and watching two guys argue and scream at each other while they checked the luggage “one bag at a time” to ensure the luggage on the plane matched the passengers, even thought the next flight was going to the same spot and would leave at the same time we would or within a few minutes. The reloading took almost 2 hours and I missed my final connection and spent two days in a hotel room trying to get another connection to my destination.
I think I have said before that air travel is just not fun anymore, but what else can you do. – WD0AJG